I need to gain some weight to build my body.
obviously because i'm too skinny!
don't get me wrong.i love myself.i don't hate the way my body looks.
in contrast to people who wants to be skinny just because they think being skinny is beautiful, i want to increase weight not mainly because i am too conscious of my looks.
i'm fine with the way that i am.
but,i have two reasons why i want to have a slightly bigger body.
first is because its hard to find myself decent clothes.because of my small frame clothes have become bigger for me.even if i buy a size s clothing it would still be big for me.
and everytime i wore them its as if i am a hip-hop dancer.the clothes would seem big on me as if i am a 10 year old kid trying to wear a man's clothes.
if i have a slightly bigger body then those clothes would fit me nicely. :)
the reason i put the word 'slightly' everytime i want to say 'slightly bigger body'.its because i'm afraid i will become biggerjust like this word are.does anyone ever told you 'be careful of what you wish for'?
here,i am being careful.i don't want to say i want to become bigger.just slightly bigger.there's a lot of difference in that.because i'm afraid that god will grant me my wish and make me way too big for my own good. :)
then there's the 2nd reason why i want my body weight to increase slightly.mainly because of sports.which complements my statement above.i don't want to become bigger,just slightly bigger. :)
what's the problem with my body weight??what's the problem with sports???
let me tell you.
as you already know my body frame is small for someone my age.and compared to more others i am considered small.well,its not actually a problem.but to me it is a problem.
with a small body its hard for me to challenge my opponents who has bigger bodies.
recently.well actually yesterday, i played futsal with my friends and we eventually lost to 1 goal.and we have to pay more than the other team.its sad actually.because there's nothing much i can do.
no matter how much skills or technical abilities i have,when the opponents starts to play it rough then i will be swallowed.i can't even move around.my passes did not connect.overall i can't play whenever there's an opponent who play extremely physical.
not able to do anything,not able to help my friends.i became utterly useless.just because i am physically weaker. :(
in order to improve my game that's why i want to build up my body.so that the opponents can't push me aside anymore.
even after the game ended.when we were having some drinks at the mamak stall.one of my friend olie told me:
"kau dari dulu tak berubah,main baik hati sangat.asal opponent tolak kau je kau kalah,main keras sikit lah faliq"
that was what he said.of course he did not scold me.he just gave me advice on how to improve myself.an advice that have been repeated by the same man throughout these years.
i tried so hard to increase my body weight.
some people said that if we eat and sleep we will become big.i even tried that.and its not working.
some would tell me to consider taking appeton weight gain.
what the hell!!
appeton only increases your appetite.
my appetite are already gigantic!
i eat a lot more than what obese people eat. honestly!
go and ask my closest friends and they will confirm you for that.
i have been trying.i hope i can achieve what i am aiming for.
to have a slightlybigger body. n_n